The Scientific Method
by L.C. Li
Summary: Observations: Dizziness, shortness of breath, incessant blushing, perpetual stupidity. Hypothesis: Stroke. 2nd hypothesis: Poisoned by aphrodisiac. — Tadashi:Gogo.


_**(a/n: uhh. yeah idk. do me a favor and don't take this seriously. it's like half crack. and kind of au cuz tadashi's alive but hiro's going to SFIT.)**_

* * *

San Fransokyo Institute of Technology  
**Kreiware Tablet  
**_owned by Ethel Kim_

::-::

_9.4.96_

New semester. Can tell the freshmen by how they gawk. Can't wait to see how they react to simulated safety drills.

Met up at the entrance ceremony. Sitting with Honey, Tadashi, and Fred. Wasabi giving the opening speech. Class valedictorian and all. Comparing schedules, looks like Tadashi and I share three classes. Only have one with Honey and one with Fred.

Ceremony starting. Hiro barely came in time. Looks like he's not used to getting up earlier than noon.

**| Observations**

\- Wasabi: tie crooked during speech  
\- Honey: wore blue, not pink  
\- Fred: no longer the mascot

**| Action Items**

\- Investigate other potential signs of Armageddon

::-::

_9.12.96_

Tadashi proving to be very distracting in class. Keeps making faces and trying to pass notes. Except for the class he shares with Hiro. Then he's suddenly the model student.

**| Hypothesis:** Tadashi suffers from dissociative identity disorder.

**| Experiment: **Get Tadashi tested at the local hospital.

Update: Tadashi refuses to take the test. Looks like there's some substance to this hypothesis.

::-::

_9.13.96_

Interrogated Hiro for research purposes. No adequate response garnered. Hiro choked from his own laughter and fainted.

**| Conclusion:** Hypothesis disproved.

::-::

_9.20.96_

Tadashi no longer making faces or passing notes. Still distracting.

**| Observations**

\- Touches my shoulder when he passes by  
\- Stares until I look at him. New model of staring contest?  
\- During lab, leans from behind me with arms on either side. New model of hug?

**| Revised Hypothesis:** Tadashi Hamada is a secret agent, cataloging my reaction times for potential threat level.

**| Experiment: **Offer to take Tadashi on a ride. A secret agent will be unfazed.

Update: Tadashi agreed. Looks good for this hypothesis.

**| Schedule Alert: **9:00p. Ride with Tadashi.

Update 2: Ride finished. Conclusive results gathered.

**| Analysis**

\- Times Tadashi vomited: 3  
\- Decibels of Tadashi's yelling: 87 dB  
\- Color of Tadashi's face: #FFFFFF  
\- Intensity of ride, Gogo scale: 8/10

**| Conclusion: **Hypothesis disproved.

::-::

_9.22.96_

Touches on shoulder and leaning on back have ceased. Staring continues.

No hypothesis available at the moment.

::-::

_9.30.96_

Honey has asked why "you and Tadashi are acting so strangely. It just isn't like you, Gogo!" Informed her of my hypotheses. She stared at me like I had grown two heads. According to Honey, I "wasn't like this last semester. The two of you were like peas in a pod!"

Will commence self-evaluation for Honey's sake.

**| Observations **(last semester)

\- Could tell Tadashi everything  
\- Spent 75% of social time with Tadashi  
\- Felt trust and comfort around Tadashi

**| Observations **(current)

\- Struggle to formulate correct words around Tadashi  
\- Feel unusually nervous around Tadashi  
\- React viscerally to casual touches from Tadashi

**| Conclusion: **I have indeed suffered a sudden change in behavior.

No hypothesis available at the moment.

::-::

_10.03.96_

Tried to pull Tadashi aside today to inform him of my suspicions. Backed out at the last minute. Approaching within 10 feet of him inspires a panic attack.

**| Revised Hypothesis: **I am allergic to Tadashi Hamada.

::-::

_10.07.96_

Started avoiding Tadashi. Fred, Honey, and Wasabi seem hurt. Group hangouts clearly strained.

::-::

_10.09.96_

Was working on the electromag suspension bike in the lab when Tadashi pulled me out. Led me to an empty classroom and demanded that "if you have a problem with me, you deal with me. Don't drag everyone else into it, too."

Have never seen a genuinely angry Tadashi until then. Do not want to repeat the experience.

Attempted to explain recent observations. Only seemed to baffle Tadashi, who inquired into my abrupt attitude change towards him. Could not respond. No viable explanation.

Tadashi promised to "stop staring, if that's what makes you uncomfortable." Instinctively wanted to disprove him. Reasons uncertain.

::-::

_10.15.96_

Tadashi no longer stares nor touches. Gang dynamic has been restored. Everything should be back to normal.

**| Observations**

\- Irrational gloom  
\- Inability to concentrate  
\- Hypersensitivity  
\- Enhanced attention to detail (the color of Tadashi's eyes? hair? how his clothes make him seem [data terminated])

No hypothesis available at the moment.

::-::

_10.23.96_

Studying for midterm week in a library group room. Fred, Honey, and Wasabi have left. Only Tadashi and me.

...Odd. Never noticed before, but something about his cardigan makes his arms look [data terminated]. Suddenly thought of how it would feel if those arms were [data terminated]. Major concerns raised. Self-evaluation mandatory.

| **Observations**

\- Dizziness  
\- Shortness of breath  
\- Incessant blushing  
\- Perpetual stupidity

**| Hypothesis:** I am suffering from a stroke.

::-::

_10.24.96_

Researched stroke. Hypothesis clearly disproved.

**| Revised Hypothesis: **I am contracting the flu.

::-::

_10.25.96_

Scanned by Baymax. Hypothesis clearly disproved.

Update: Spoke with Baymax. Claims that I show raised levels in estrogen, dopamine, cortisol, phenylephrine, and norepinephrine. Diagnosis: [data terminated].

**| Action Items**

\- Tell Tadashi to fix Baymax

::-::

_10.31.96_

Halloween party. Fred managed to convince all of us to go Trick-or-Treating. He just wore his mascot costume. Honey dressed like an angel. Wasabi is a robot. Tadashi's... late. Me? Didn't get a costume. No point.

Update: Honey knew I wouldn't get a costume and got one for me. Refuses to let me out of the bathroom until I put it on. Fine. There's a window for a reason.

Update 2: Window locked securely and shatterproof. Fred must be well protected against burglaries.

Update 3: Now dressed in a hanbok. Great. I look like an idiot.

Update 4: Tadashi arrived. All symptoms have returned in full force. Tadashi is dressed like a... human Baymax. Nerd. Total nerd. The nerdiest nerdy nerd. Doesn't look good at all. Not with the white fitted coat and the pants and boots and scarf and... [data terminated], he looks really good.

Update 5: Halfway through the neighborhood run. Tadashi has not looked at me once. This bothers me. Reasons unknown.

Update 6: Honey claims that Tadashi is "just shy. You're absolutely gorgeous, you know!" False. I look stupid. Dresses and I don't get along.

Update 7: Asked Tadashi why he was clearly avoiding me. Responses: stuttering, blushing, running. Possibly fever?

::-::

_11.05.96_

All odd behavior from Tadashi has ceased. Ridiculous faces in classes have resumed. All instructors so far ignorant.

::-::

_11.07.96_

First test run on the electromag bike. Asked Wasabi to spot me. Considered asking Tadashi, but Wasabi is clearly bigger, stronger, and therefore less likely to injure himself.

Update: Test run complete, of a sort :D Currently in hospital :( Honey Lemon typing in my stead ;) She's the best friend EVER and I'll let her take a picture of me anytime, anywhere! :'D wait GOGO WHAT IS THIS IM SEEING

Update 2: Honey Lemon now in clear violation of the right to privacy.

Update 3: Typing with one hand, since my left arm is broken. Not noticeably, should be fine in a few weeks. First test run fairly successful. Bit faster than expected. Incorrectly assumed Wasabi would be a proper spotter. He ran away when I flew off instead of securing my landing. Still crashed into him.

Insignificant observation: Tadashi Hamada was glaring at Wasabi for the remainder of the day.

::-::

_11.09.96_

IMPORTANT NOTE: Bodily injury is a very effective excuse for dodging projects.

::-::

_11.10.96_

2ND IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not mention said project-dodging to Tadashi Hamada. No, offering assistance is _not_ helping in this case, Hamada.

**| Schedule Alert: **10:00p. Labwork with Tadashi.

Now obligated to catch up on all labwork. With one hand. New hypothesis: Tadashi Hamada's offers to "catch Gogo up" are actually masked excuses to exact sadistic vengeance on me from some unknown offense.

Update: Tadashi is... acting strangely.

**| Observations **(Tadashi)

\- Enjoys reaching over my shoulders instead of stepping in front of me. Asserting his height?  
\- Standing roughly 3 feet closer than necessary for every task  
\- Stares and seems to forget he is staring. Lack of sleep?  
\- Overuses the word 'friend.' "This is what friends are for. This is what friends do."

**| Observations** (Gogo)

\- Odd reactions to physical contact (electric shock? check for static)  
\- Panic directly related to Tadashi Hamada's proximity

Update 2: A... a very, _very_ unusual thing happened. Problem with Magnet 3. Almost got crushed to death. Tadashi tackled me out of the way. It was... it felt... He was suddenly so...

**| Observations**

\- Elevated pulse  
\- Sweaty palms  
\- Impaired reason  
\- Nausea? Dizziness?

**| Revised Hypothesis: **I am claustrophobic.

**| Experiment: **Fairly simple to resolve.

::-::

_11.11.96_

**| Analysis**

\- Janitor's closet is very small indeed  
\- Exiting said closet inspires Fred to make terrible puns. "Coming out of the closet?" Really?  
\- No apparent discomfort, aside from obvious back pain

**| Conclusion: **I am not claustrophobic.

No follow-up hypothesis available at the moment.

::-::

_11.19.96_

Will admit that I am completely bewildered. No apparent health problems, no claustrophobia... no viable explanation for these unusual symptoms.

Tadashi acting normally as if nothing happened. This bothers me. Reasons unknown.

::-::

_11.23.96_

No other option. Must consult an expert.

Update: Tadashi claims Baymax should be completely functional. Must revisit this weekend.

::-::

_11.28.96_

IMPOSSIBLE.

THIS IS AN IMPOSSIBLE

I CAN'T

No, there must be some other explanation.

**| Revised Hypothesis: **I was poisoned by aphrodisiac.

Primary suspects: (1) Honey Lemon, (2) Fred, (3) Hiro Hamada. Must investigate potential motives in this moronic act.

::-::

_12.01.96_

Investigations complete. Summary of results compiled below.

**| Analysis**

\- Hiro gags just at the idea of his brother in a relationship. Culprit probability: 0.05%  
\- Fred constantly changes topic to recent comic release. Culprit probability: 25.33%  
\- Honey Lemon grins like a Cheshire and squeals. A lot. Culprit probability: 99.999998%

::-::

_12.05.96_

Expanded investigation has revealed that the production of aphrodisiac is technically impossible.

**| Revised Hypothesis: **Honey Lemon is a witch masquerading as Muggle.

::-::

_12.09.96_

Honey Lemon did not stop the paper airplanes I threw at her. Much less with magic.

**| Conclusion: **Honey Lemon is not a witch. At least in the magical sense.

No follow-up hypothesis available at this moment.

::-::

_12.13.96_

Finals concluded. Vacation time. Activities have been quiet recently. Everyone was too busy to hang out.

Fred says he wants to remedy this over break. Amusement park trip planned for tomorrow. Parties to follow. It'd be nice to spend time with the gang.

::-::

_12.14.96_

**| Schedule Alert:** 9:00a. Meet at gate.

Sky's pretty cloudy. Looks like it might rain. Good. Means that there'll be less people around. Fred called his limousine to pick us up. Still can't get used to the fact that he's a rich kid.

Update: Starting to drizzle. Just arrived at the entrance. Pretty empty. Odd. Didn't think a little rain would keep the kids away.

Update 2: The Hydra's still pretty good. 500 feet of rollercoaster height. Wasabi chickened out and volunteered to "watch the stuff." And Honey, well, she tried to take a group selfie right before the plunge. Surprised that she didn't drop her phone.

Update 3: Teacups? TEACUPS?! Wasabi I swear you are a little girl.

Update 4: Well Tadashi and I spun the fastest so _there_.

Update 5: Bumper cars next. This'll be fun.

Update 6: Note to self: never let Honey drive. Selfie-ing and driving is a true hazard. Couldn't even predict where she'd go next. What? No, she didn't win. No way she won. You can't even win at bumper cars.

Update 7: Drizzle starting to pour. Think I know why all the kids stayed home.

Insignificant observation: Tadashi Hamada is sharing his umbrella with me. Strange tingling sensations in my hand. Potential hypothesis: umbrella being used as perpetual lightning rod? Highly unlikely.

Update 8: Rain and wind intensifying. Several rides shut down. Pity, we were going to the ferris wheel next.

Update 9: ...Pity? Wait... the ferris wheel is slow. It's boring. Why was I...? Why did I...?

Update 10: Heading to the studio tour. The cars are... tragically small. And I happen to be sharing one with...

Update 11: ...very _vrey_ unsuual momnet wats hppaenign. Wat apenni...

Update 12: Have calmed down. At least somewhat. Just returned from the indoor studio tour, where I shared an (unnecessarily) small vehicle with Tadashi Hamada. Drew an irrevocable conclusion.

**| Revised Hypothesis: **I am in love with Tadashi Hamada.

**| Analysis**

\- Tadashi leaning close = havoc on senses  
\- Claustrophobia hypothesis: disproved  
\- Honey Lemon witch hypothesis: disproved  
\- Aphrodisiac hypothesis: disproved

**| Conclusion: **Hypothesis verified. I am indeed... in love with Tadashi Hamada.

Update 13: Returning home. Weather intensifying to a thunderstorm.

Unneeded tirade: WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHAT THE [data terminated] IS WRONG WITH ME WHY

::-::

_12.15.96_

Still storming outside.

Perfect weather for lamenting my clearly impaired sense of rational thought.

::-::

_12.16.96_

Feeling a bit... odd...

::-::

_12.17.96_

Eek, guess who's in the hospital again? So that's why Honey Lemon, a.k.a. your resident chemistry expert, is typing in _my_ stead! Because _I_ thought that _I_ would be fine after running in the freezing rain for an hour! (^.^)

I WAS TRYING TO COOL MY HEAD YOU

Hey hey, it's not good for _me_ to get out of bed when _I'm_ this sick :(

YOU AREN'T TYPING WHAT I WANT YOU TO HONEY LEMON

Wait wait wait WAIT. Cool your head? From whaaaaat? ;D

NOTHING.

Hmm :) You started running just after we left the studio tour... the one with the tiny cars... and you shared one of those tiny cars... WITH TADASHI. :OOOOO

Gogo? ;D

Goooooogoooooo? ;DDD

Oh, well. I took the liberty of buying two tickets to the movies for Christmas Eve! :D Hey, it's an action movie. x) No, no, no need to thank me, I'd just LOVE to see you two happy! :D C'mon you two would be ADORABLE! :DDD Oh and your kids would look absolutely

OKAAYYYYYYY WE ARE DONE HERE. WE ARE SO DONE HERE. I AM INSTALLING A VOICE DICTATION SYSTEM.

::-::

_12.18.96_

Out of the hospital. Just need to sleep a bit at home.

I am not using those tickets.

::-::

_12.19.96_

I'm not.

::-::

_12.20.96_

...Huh. The new Avengers movie.

NO. NO I AM NOT USING THOSE TICKETS.

::-::

_12.21.96_

She bought 4D Ultra-Immersion?

Would be a shame to waste.

::-::

_12.22.96_

Could just invite Tadashi as a friend.

Except, if I tell Tadashi we're only seeing it as friends, he'll wonder why I didn't get tickets for everyone else.

::-::

_12.23.96_

Not that it matters. They're Honey's tickets. Should use them how she intended.

Update: Meh. Here goes nothing.

::-::

_12.24.96_

What am I even doing.

**| Schedule Alert: **7:00p. Movie with Tadashi.

Update: Wow this kid looks fine. What the [data terminated] does he think this is? A date?

Update 2: Unnecessary flattery regarding my physical appearance will _not_ affect me. At all. Ever. It won't. It... IT WON'T IT WON'T IT WON'T

Update 3: Watched movie. Was ok. 5/10. Saw the plot twist coming from a mile away. On the other hand, Tadashi's still in shock. Hasn't even spoken a word. His face is red. Maybe the theater was too warm? Hasn't stopped looking at his shoes for hours.

Update 4: Tadashi claims he's not being quiet because of the movie. Suddenly stopped walking. Is now staring at me.

**| Automatic Voice Record**

\- "Gogo?"  
\- "Hm?"  
\- "Did you... invite me out as a friend?"  
\- "Uh, duh. Best friends."  
\- "And... that's it, right?"  
\- "...Tadashi?"  
\- "I'm... I'm sorry. It's getting too hard for me to hide."  
\- "What is?"  
\- [SILENCE. AUTO RECORD WILL TERMINATE IN 3... 2... 1...]  
\- "Gogo."  
\- "Yeah?"  
\- "I... I kind of... I really..."  
\- [SILENCE. AUTO RECORD WILL—]  
\- "Stop beating around the bush and woman up, Tadashi."  
\- "...Fine."  
\- [SILENCE. AUTO RECORD WILL TERMINATE IN 3... 2... 1... TERMINATED.]

Update 5: i. wait wat jsut i wat

Update 6: Finally calmed down, somewhat. Self-evaluation mandatory.

**| Observations**

\- Tadashi smells like the sea? Unfairly intoxicating cologne  
\- Public displays of affection are signs of... Baymax's diagnosis  
\- Tadashi... kissed me  
\- Therefore...

**| Hypothesis: **Tadashi Hamada is also in love with me.

**| Experiment: **This should be fun.

**FIN  
**_s.d.g._


End file.
